Next Step

Well at this point, I must say what is going on or nothing will make sense.
On Monday I found out that I have a half sister.  My dad had no idea he had another daughter out there. The biological mom contacted my dad via Facebook to tell him and open the lines of communications between him and his other daughter. She was born before me, right after my dad joined the Marines in 1968.  She was given up for adoption, and reconnected with her bio mom when she was 18.  Until Facebook, they had been unable to locate my dad.

My emotions are a bit better since earlier in the week.  Like I said in that post, I handled it badly at first.  In private, but not in front of my dad.  I didn't want to tarnish his excitement. It was a selfish reaction, one of not being the "only child" anymore.  And that my dad has grandchildren.  I am trying to transition into being happy and ok with all of this.

Terminology is really important, and I am still struggling with that.  I am now a "sister" (even if it is a half). I am an "aunt." These are hard for me because although it is a perfectly acceptable term for the kinship, sister and aunt to me has to do with having a relationship, really knowing each other.  That's the sister or aunt relationships I have been exposed to the most. So I almost feel like I am not allowed to use the terms sister or aunt until those relationships are formed.  Her children I suppose will call me Leslie, then maybe in the future I will be Aunt Leslie.

My half-sister and I have been communicating through email for now.  I think my dad wanted me to call her, but I am not ready for that yet.  She is very smart, very insightful, and seems really nice.  A person who would fit great into our family.

So that's what's up, and as I explore this new adventure, I will post more on it.

The beginning

This is going to start out as a vague post.  I apologize for that.  As time passes, I will continue the theme of this post and as I feel comfortable I will provide more detail.
For now...

Sometimes you think you know certain facts (or assumption of facts) and you think you know how you would react to actions related to those facts.  Let me just tell you, you don't.
Due to the things that are going on in my life at this very moment I reacted to something much more badly than I ever expected I would.  If these actions happened to me, let's say, 5 years ago or 10 years ago, I think I would have reacted much differently.  I probably would have jumped up and down with excitement.  And in a way I should be excited.  I'm attributing my bad reaction to selfishness. To the reality that I have lived for 35 years.  And from this day forward it will be different.  My existence, who I am, is being altered.  The role I play in this world is altered. The chess pieces are being moved and a little faster then I may be ready for.

Let me clarify, this has nothing to do with my amazing husband, nor our life together (Aka future kids).  Although it will affect our life in some ways, this is about me.  He has already proven to be my rock, and I love him very much for that.

Like I said when I opened, as I feel comfortable I will provide more details, and this story will grow over time.  Stay tuned....

Thoughts on aging...

se·nil·i·ty

/sɪˈnɪlɪti/ Show Spelled[si-nil-i-tee]

–noun

the state of being senile, esp. the weakness or mental infirmity of old age.

I've had a few encounters in the last few months with what I call senile individuals.  Now I do not mean this in any disrespect! These are very nice individuals who have begun to spend a portion of their days in an alternate reality.  One where their reality is not true to the rest of us, but only to them.  I feel that these encounters bring on an air of sadness for me. It also makes me realize that in my own time I will start to live in my own alternate reality.  Steve would say I already am at times, but I beg to differ! 

Trying to convince an individual that their reality is not of course the real thing, is next to impossible.  Even if they realized that it is incorrect, and that they may have a problem with their memories, the fear of old age will probably prevent them from accepting or admitting to it.  They will always be right.  So how do we in the "real" world cope with this? At times we feel that the facts can be laid out and stated, and they should accept it and move on, but this is not the case.  The worse thing I hear is someone saying "Don't you remember? I told you the other day." or "No don't forget, you forget sometimes." One, the person does not remember and by asking "Don't you remember?" you only point out to the individual that they have forgotten and they still don't remember, so it just makes them sad and maybe a little afraid.  Saying "Don't forget" won't help.  They typically at this age have no power over what their minds will retain as memories, it's just condescending at that point.

One of the encounters was with someone who I had no real affiliation with through my work, but the signs were there. Defensiveness when I presented the correct answer, denial of that information, insistence on policies that never existed.  How do we identify that senility is probably the issue, and not just rudeness?

I have no answer to my own questions of how we deal with it.  What are the appropriate responses and reactions? What would make them feel better without us feeling like a failure for not proving the reality as fact? I struggle with this.  If anyone has insight, please let me know! 

That book...NO! That book..oh it's the same book!

Why do publishers feel the need to update the covers of their books? Now I know some answers might include modernization.  I get that, but why for a book that is newer and has a pretty contemporary cover to begin with?

Here is the original one:

Here's the one I picked up:

And this one, I have no idea about:

Check your facts sir or madam!

I have recently been the victim of an onslaught of emails that claim that our government is being devious and throwing out the constitution with the bath water. Most of them I ignore and just delete.  But somedays I get fired up.  Today is one of those days. The lack of fact checking before forwarding said emails and taking some cyber stranger's word as gospel irritates me to no end.  It's as if we have no brains to think for ourselves, if so, I got a bridge I can sell ya!

I try to be a good steward of the internet and when something important needs to be passed on I am obliged to help. I also try to quash horrid false emails in my own way (by deleting).  I may even get fired up enough to respond (if I can I "Reply All" so not just the sender but all those that received this erroneous email get the truth) with links to the correct information.

The latest was an email I have gotten twice about the proposed 28th Amendment. I looked it up, and factcheck.org debunked most of what the email said.  Do the authors of said emails do it for fun to see how stupid the average American is? Or do the authors really believe the junk they write?

So my motto for today....check your facts sir or madam!
Two good websites:
snopes.com (for all urban legend type stuff)
factcheck.org (for governmental related issues)

Post Script:
Today I got my first text message hoax forwarded to me. AAAGGGHHHH!!!!