se·nil·i·ty
[si-nil-i-tee]
ɪ
–noun
the state of being senile, esp. the weakness or mental infirmity of old age.
I've had a few encounters in the last few months with what I call senile individuals. Now I do not mean this in any disrespect! These are very nice individuals who have begun to spend a portion of their days in an alternate reality. One where their reality is not true to the rest of us, but only to them. I feel that these encounters bring on an air of sadness for me. It also makes me realize that in my own time I will start to live in my own alternate reality. Steve would say I already am at times, but I beg to differ!
Trying to convince an individual that their reality is not of course the real thing, is next to impossible. Even if they realized that it is incorrect, and that they may have a problem with their memories, the fear of old age will probably prevent them from accepting or admitting to it. They will always be right. So how do we in the "real" world cope with this? At times we feel that the facts can be laid out and stated, and they should accept it and move on, but this is not the case. The worse thing I hear is someone saying "Don't you remember? I told you the other day." or "No don't forget, you forget sometimes." One, the person does not remember and by asking "Don't you remember?" you only point out to the individual that they have forgotten and they still don't remember, so it just makes them sad and maybe a little afraid. Saying "Don't forget" won't help. They typically at this age have no power over what their minds will retain as memories, it's just condescending at that point.
One of the encounters was with someone who I had no real affiliation with through my work, but the signs were there. Defensiveness when I presented the correct answer, denial of that information, insistence on policies that never existed. How do we identify that senility is probably the issue, and not just rudeness?
I have no answer to my own questions of how we deal with it. What are the appropriate responses and reactions? What would make them feel better without us feeling like a failure for not proving the reality as fact? I struggle with this. If anyone has insight, please let me know!
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