I have come to the conclusion that I worry, obsess and think about everything that has to do with Elsa's rearing. How do I make her a well rounded kid, that is gender blind, independent, hitting societal set milestones, educated, kind and empathetic, eats healthy foods not laden with chemicals, and on and on? There is so much that goes into molding a child into a productive member of society. And one thing that you are completely unaware of could derail all of it. So add that to the list, outside influences. Yay!
I am about to make an absolutely sexist comment here, and I really want to yell at myself, but I must do it. Women worry about the minutia of this stuff way more than men. Don't get me wrong, men worry too. However, when I look at facebook it is not men that are posting all the articles and blogs that deal with raising children. Women are! We post and repost. Trying to connect with other women to validate that we are in fact doing what's right and best for our children.
A good portion of the articles and blogs are written to tell us it's ok not to be the perfect mom/parent. With the theme of don't be too hard on yourself, the kid will turn out ok. Those articles make me feel better for about, oh, a second. Then I move on to the next article about how American culture is detrimental to my child. It really is maddening.
The best article I found that gives members of the male persuasion a hint into what we as women (and yes I am generalizing big time) go through was about the contradictory messages we are presented with. It's pretty fun and really sums up what is happening in our brains. You should all read it. "I read all the major books on baby sleep. Here is what I learned."
You could literally replace sleeping with any other child rearing decision and it would be just as confusing and mind numbing.
I haven't figured out how to shut it all out. To say the hell with it, she is awesome and will always be awesome and that's that. If you have any tips, please let me know!
1 comment:
Paralysis by analysis. Go with your gut. At some point, you have to realize that you a)are a smart person with enough common sense to pick out what REALLY matters from all the information b)know your child, who is truly a one of a kind, better than any book does. and c)underestimate the number of family worries men have. Perhaps you don't see it on facebook because men simply aren't as good at sharing their concerns/feelings and are not as good at admitting they need help or don't know everything.
Post a Comment